Wednesday, March 3, 2010


In The Mirror

 I was an ardent fan of Hayley Mills when I was a little girl, briefly considering running off to a nunnery after seeing her in The Trouble With Angels.  Her British accent enchanted me and, bonus of all bonuses, she had blonde eyelashes just like the ones I saw when I looked in the mirror! I still have an eight by ten glossy of her, dressed as Pollyanna, autographed and on display in my kitchen.  It makes me smile.  I look at it and remember who I was.

About a year after my Hayley inspired flirtation with the convent, I saw the movie, Camelot, and became transfixed by Vanessa Redgrave’s portrayal of Queen Guinevere.  Camelot convinced me that I could not possibly become a nun if it meant that a glorious wedding like the one in that movie could never be mine. Indeed, I was so captivated that, many years later, when it came time to design my own wedding, I copied the one on screen shamelessly.  Winter ceremony, tall candles lining the center aisle, soft flowing dress.  No horse to ride away on, but there are only so many things one can do.  I clearly remember how beautiful Vanessa Redgrave was in Camelot; with her magnificent auburn hair and that bewitching medieval wardrobe, she positively shone.

I saw Ms. Redgrave again recently as The Songwriter and I watched her accept a fellowship from Prince William at the BAFTA’s.   Tall, with silver hair pulled back, she took the stage elegantly dressed in black, as regal as the Queen she once played on film.  It was then that The Songwriter said, ”She looks beautiful.  And, isn’t it great that she hasn’t changed her face.  You can still clearly see who she was”.
Oh, what a statement.

Why is it that so often women seem to believe their beauty is diminished when it changes with age?  I know plastic surgery it is a personal subject, but it grieves me when I see once beautiful faces altered beyond all recognition, any remnant of who they once were lost forever.  And really, no one ever looks younger, just different. 
 If someone is blessed with a beautiful face, age cannot steal it.  Anger and fear, jealousy, bitterness.... those are the thieves of beauty, not age.  
 I remember a quote I read several years ago from the actress, Diane Lane.  She said that to get plastic surgery would make her feel as if she needed to apologize for something.  How perfectly put.
I can only hope, as the years roll on, I will continue to gaze in the mirror and see all the girls I used to be - the Hayley Mills fan, the winter bride - all my many incarnations mingling happily together to make me who I am today.


Hayley Mills

"Joy is the best make-up."
Anne Lamott

67 comments:

  1. Oh wow and my goodness..First off the logo with your dog...love it so much...Then when I saw the photo of Haley Mills!! Well, when you visit my blog check out my profile..nuf said...I'm a follower..I dig you!!

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  2. The first movie I remember starred Hailey Mills and Maurice Chevalier. The song was that famous ' zank evenns for likil girls zey grow up in ze most delighful way'. I'm told he actually spoke English fluently and without his screen impenetrable accent.

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  3. My very last doll of my childhood was a Pollyanna doll in a red gingham dress and long blonde hair! I loved her , the movie and Hailey Mills so much! Thanks for the 'rememberies':-)

    I so agree with you on the aging process. As a breast cancer survivor, I am just vaey glad (and grateful) to be here and proud of what I have actually survived in my life, it would be, in my mind, minimizing all of that if I were to alter anything..make no mistake - I love a good haircut and great make-up - but not 'altering' anything that God has seen so fit go give me - including my very life :-)

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  4. I'm with you on this - even though I hate my neck these days!

    I loved Hailey Mills too - The Parent Trap was a favorite!

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  5. So nice and wonderful written ! I also like the quotes about beauty. A person can look fantastic at every age. We just think that we must look young.

    xx
    Anci

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  6. This post made me smile and remember the origin of many a "scathingly brilliant" idea that often had the same results as in the movie. Thanks for the reminder that we're made of many parts - and better for it!

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  7. Vanessa Redgrave has always been an icon to me Pamela - we are of a similar age and political persuasion. I too saw her getting her BAFTA award - didn't she look wonderful? I did, however, think that I could see the terrible sadness in her face at the sad loss of her daughter.

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  8. Dear Pamela, Another engaging posting. Your mention of Hayley Mills brought back to me the film of 1961, 'Whistle Down the Wind', in which she starred with Alan Bates and for which she was nominated for a BAFTA award. And as for Vanessa Redgrave, she remains one of today's finest actresses in my opinion.

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  9. Wish you had a picture of Vanessa Redgrave in Camelot...can't remember it but would really dig the medieval dress...:)

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  10. What a wonderful post. I just read an article in Vanity Fair about Ali MacGraw and she is another person that is just beautiful and from the photos that I've seen, she aged beautifully (and naturally).

    It's so funny that you mentioned the Trouble with Angels. I bought the dvd for my granddaughters and they love the movie.

    I was a brunette so there was no hope of be being anything at all like Hailey Mills but it never stopped me loving her movies. I own The Parent Trap and Pollyana (pathetically I own all the childhood movies that I loved - The World of Henry Orient, Gigi, Islands of the Blue Dolphins, Heidi, etc.) My son is always telling me that I am trapped in the past. Oh well. Thanks for the walk down memory lane.

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  11. I agree...where I've been and what I've done is being etched on my face day by day...to erase the lines would seem like erasing the past or dismissing it as irrelevant.

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  12. I just love this post, Pamela! Your words to strive to be able to "continue to gaze in the mirror and see all the girls I used to be" tugged at my soul and your picture of Haley Mills and Pollyanna made me smile. Well said.

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  13. Lovely post Pamela, - full of wisdom and wonderful comments on aging. Each stage of our lives has its own beauty, - the trick is in accepting the wrinkles and seeing the character in the fine lines and sagging neck, and yet still keeping the glow of youth in the eyes.

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  14. What a thoughtful post Pamela. I was so taken with Hayley Mills as a young girl, that I had my hair cut like hers, after seeing The {original}Parent Trap. I don't always love each little line-but they are mine and no one is going to steal them from me. I do want an honest face.

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  15. Pamela, well said and I think you captured my sentiments perfectly. It is so disheartening to see so many fall by the wayside and lose the character and life that once encapsulated their persona...especially the stars that we so enjoyed and identified with. Vanessa Redgrave has spunk as well as grace and form. I would be surprised to see her fall in line. Loved the flashback to Hayley Mills. I loved the mischief she got into in those early movies. Sally Field in Gidget and The Flying Nun was another favourite of the time. 'Joy is the best make-up'..love that one..so true..the power of a smile and the twinkle in the eye!
    Jeanne :)

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  16. yes, i was a huge hailey mills fan, too. i have a small collection of her movies that i still watch today. two of my favorites are her roles in the chalk garden & that darn cat!

    :-)

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  17. Pamela what a perfect post. I too adored Haley and always dreamed of being her or Patti Duke, or even Sally Field. I couldn't agree more about plastic surgery stealing who you really are. I often wonder if later many have true regret? How incredibly special to see Ms. Redgrave at the BAFTA's after you've admired her for so long. Your wedding sounded fabulous, a woman's dream.

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  18. Just reading your post gave me a moment to reflect on the the fact that graceful aging is something I actually look forward to. And unless something drastic would make my face look extremly distorted, I would never consider surgery. Which does not mean anything else in my power to look fresh and young for my age will be employed...
    I adore Vanessa Redgrave. She is a style icon for me.
    And again, thank you, it seems you are reflecting back a bit these days. I do not remember the young actress you mentioned, since I did not grow up here, but your looking back brought memories for me too!

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  19. What a great post. I couldn't agree more. I will even go so far as to say that every wrinkle gives character and grace. Lidy

    ps. LOVE Hayley!

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  20. your post pamela brought back long forgotten memories.
    as a girl, uncertain of who i was or what i was to become i would leave a movie theater convinced i could be the character i just watched.
    romeo and juliet in particular captured my young imagination certain i would one day have a dramatic love story. my fair lady enthralled me with the british accent and the transformation....could go on and on. thank you for the memory lane walk. next time i look in the mirror will see all those girls i "was".
    ps; love the winter photo of you and edward!
    debra

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  21. PAMELA-


    Have missed you--and have been inundated with deadlines.

    'Joy is the greatest makeup'...well, bah, humbug! I just don't think so.
    Joy will get you only so far--and then you need lipstick, mascara, powder...you just do.
    There is a reason why women wear makeup--they look better, happier, well-er, and younger.
    Annie Lamott--bah humbug...look at her 'dreadlocks' and tell me if they are joyful.
    Love and adore your blog--
    and this post was charming and original.
    cheers, DIANE
    www.thestylesaloniste.com

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  22. Anger and fear, jealousy, bitterness.... those are the thieves of beauty, not age....a line worthy of quoting. :)

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  23. Totally agree with that sentiment, Pamela - and as always, beautifully put. Yes, it doesn't really make anyone look younger, just kind of strange and a bit stretched. There are some lovely older lived-in faces about, and wouldn't you rather sit across from someone that looked like a person who had laughed and cried a bit rather than a smooth blank impersonation of youth?

    (OK, it's partly because I can't afford the Botox, but hey...)

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  24. Diane Lane said it well. NEVer apologize.

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  25. My favorite movie, Enchanted April, deals with this to perfection.

    Assignment today, watch the movie!!

    Garden & Be Well, XO Tara

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  26. I love what your sweetheart said. And what Anne Lamott said. And I love Hailey Mills too.
    What a wonderful post!
    Hugs to you!

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  27. Oh, how I agree about Vanessa Redgrave in Camelot - I went to see it several times and her beauty shone through and I love the music from that film! She is still a most beautiful woman today. How right you are about age and beauty:)

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  28. I agree. I think it is a subject we have all touched on, yet, the epidemic spreads.

    I adore Vanessa and have always admired her brilliance as a person and speaker for those that need help, she was so delicate at the BAFTAS.

    And.... you must watch "Sky West and Crooked". Right now. X.

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  29. I am so certain that you had the most beautiful wedding, Pamela. Knowing your exquisite style, it couldn't have been anything but magical.
    Truthfully, I have a difficult time with aging. I know the right thing to say is that I'll accept it gracefully, but I don't know. Beauty has been drilled into me by generations. And my grandmother liked to say that a woman must do all she can to maintain her allure.

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  30. I am so agree with you about aging! I think every age has his charming characteristics!
    Loved your text of today!
    xx
    Greet

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  31. I think that ageing naturally and gracefully is a skill and plastic surgery is something that should only be used if people have been disfigured by disease or accident. I wrote a poem about that once

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  32. Oh Pamela,
    You write about so many things that I love. I used to love Hayley Mills. Pollyanna is one of my favourite films and I watch it whenever it's on T.V. I never tire of it. The chandelier crystals that they hang in front of the window to make rainbows, the doll that she wins, eating the watermelon, oh, I could go on....and, what a coincidence, I watched 'In Search of the Casterways yesterday afternoon.... and 'Whistle Down The Wind' was wonderful.
    I so agree with you about plastic surgery. I cannot see why people would want to do it when they see the diasterous results that some celebrities have had.There's a bit of a difference between a bit of make up and surgery.
    Vanessa Redgrave looks so beautiful. There is nothing wrong with growing old but I think a lot of celebrities are forced to go down the plastic surgery route.
    A wonderful post,Pamela, bringing back some lovely memories. XXXX

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  33. Oh Pamela, I didn't think that you were anti make up. I was just saying that, because those who are pro plastic surgery always make that analogy.I LOVE my mascara and lip gloss !!

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  34. Lovely post. That wedding scene in Camelot is seared in my memory. And traveling in the snow to her wedding -- how beautiful it seemed. And though Vanessa Redgrave couldn't sing like Julie Andrews (who was Guenevere on Broadway), she was absolutely radiant and wonderful in the role. Of course at the time she was in love with the actor who played Lancelot, as I recall. And I agree with Tara Dillard -- Enchanted April is one of my all time favorites.

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  35. I completely agree! And I love the comment from Diane Lane.

    Now that I'm in my 40s, I certainly have my share of laugh lines, but I actually feel kind of proud of them, like I'm grown up, not old. And I look around at the natural beauty of so many women I know. My friends look more beautiful to me now in their 40's, 50's, 60's and up than they did in their 20's. There's something to be said about the beauty of wisdom and experience!

    xoxo Gigi

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  36. As I proudly approach my 45th birthday this June, I couldn't agree more, Pamela.
    I am fortunate to be loved by a man who thinks I've never looked better. Each line on my face is the reminder of a family dinner, a family vacation, or one of my children's birthdays.

    xo
    Brooke

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  37. So well put! LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE your dog!!!!!

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  38. Here here! Hayley mills in your kitchen...love it!

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  39. I loved Hayley Mills, too. The Parent Trap! And the movie-I-can't-remember-where-she-got-her-first-kiss (and I'd read the book, too)! I think it had a windmill in it.

    Plastic surgery? I don't even wear make-up, so it's hard for me to understand women who go through the pain & expense of surgery. But I guess they have that right; they are trying to look like the person they remember themselves as being. For me it would be misguided.

    You and Edward both glow with your own beauty.

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  40. Again I am touched and in awe of your delightful prose, Pamela!

    A few days ago I was perusing a book on contemporary British history and encounter countered photos of Queen Elizabeth II on facing pages. On the left was the Queen at the time of her Coronation in 1853 and her Silver Jubilee 1977. One could definitely tell that Elizabethremained Elizabeth; however, I was touched by how much more majestic the older Elizabeth appeared when compared with her younger self.

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  41. Polyanna and Camelot ....those movies have struck a chord with me, I loved them both as a child.
    I sincerely hope that I can age gracefully but I am sure doing it will be tougher than it sounds....xv

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  42. Hello P&E,

    I see I've missed a lot around here! Hopefully, I'll be able to catch up. I've already enjoyed reading your winter fog story from last year. I'm sure some people can't stand the thought of losing the glow of youth. Others would claim it's the media driven world that forces them to such a course. The fact that we all know it isn't real is their undoing.

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  43. What a lovely quote from Ann LaMott -- and how true!
    Yes, Hayley Mills was so lovely as a child --see Pollyanna.
    And Vanessa Redgrave was the fist actress I really admired in AS YOU LIKE IT which we saw as a school outing to Stratford in 1961!
    She was lovely in The Charge of the Light Brigade which was made ( maybe) in the 70's
    such bone structure.
    Getting older really isn't much fun. However I feel that I have better things to spend my money on rather than a vain chance of looking better.
    Greetings and love from snowy New York

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  44. Perfectly put for the beauty that we hold outwardly may grey and wrinkle with age... it is the treasures of time we hold within...
    Susan

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  45. What a very sensible attitude Pamela. I totally agree (probably because I cannot afford plastic surgery anyway). People should glide gracefully into old age and love their bumps and wrinkles because they represent a life which only they could live.

    Vanessa is a huge talent and I, too, loved her in Camelot. The costumes were gorgeous, and the story very beautiful and enduring.

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  46. What a great post. I saw a picture of Vanessa Redgrave recently and all I could think was "you are absolutely beautiful."

    A barely recognizable Sharon Stone was on a recent magazine cover here after all her "work."

    If you pop over chez moi, I have a little something for you (and Edward of course.)

    xo,
    Tish

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  47. I completely agree with you about Vanessa Redgrave's beauty, then and now,and about the regrettable changes people make to themselves to try to keep a youthful appearance. As you say, it doesn't work and it doesn't really improve them.
    Beautiful Hayley Mills and the "Angels" movies, you certainly have touched a chord there! She absolutely shone.
    I think it was JM Barrie that said (and this is a stretch in paraphrasing, I'm going to go hunting for the quote now) that any woman can be a pretty young girl, but to be a pretty old woman takes a quality of character.

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  48. When I was a child Haley Mills was the child actress that I wanted to be...Pollyanna, The Parent Trap, That Darned Cat...I wanted to be in them all. I'm sure this actress influenced the person I developed into....

    Now I am of the age where I think about how old I look...sometimes it bothers me and sometimes it doesn't...but I hope I never feel the need to "apologize" for the stories my face tells....

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  49. Two of your favorites were also two of my favorites! I loved this post and all of thoughts and wisdom. It is so unfortunate the obsessing our culture seems to have over such things. As I head into my late forties this is such a beautiful reminder to do so naturally and gracefully.

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  50. As one with blonde eyelashes as well (not that anyone else knows!) I totally understand the Hayley Mills connection....I remember the same. Anyways lovely to meet you and I also agree on the plastic surgery. Two things we agree on already. Lovely blog.

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  51. So beautifully put, Pamela. I must say that the Songwriter is a keeper! I, too, adored Camelot and was completely enchanted with it. As one who has taken years to accept the white hair that insists now that it bloom atop my head, I am feeling liberated by the acceptance of who I am. Whatever my age, I believe joy is what will alter my face and I'm eager to give myself over to it!

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  52. Hi Pamela
    Well I remember Haley Mills movies well.. the childhood movies... I particularly like the mischief she always seemed to get herself into.. Had to laugh at the blonde eyelash reference... me too.. spent years always wearing mascara but now don't bother...

    Love the quotes by Diane Lane and the songwriter.. both perfect.. xx Julie

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  53. Beautiful post, as always.

    As I grow in age and my face changes, I see only the memories of my life so far, pouring out. I see the smile lines that remind me of a favourite place where I have laughed, I see eyes sometimes tired, but always reflecting a thousand beautiful images that I have been lucky enough to see.

    I agree with Beadbabe49 - "to erase the lines would seem like erasing the past or dismissing it as irrelevant".

    :-)

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  54. LOVE the quote from Diane Lane - all too often we see celebrities who have paid thousands to RUIN their faces, all in the name of vanity, of recapturing their youth, which of course, once gone, is gone.

    Hayley Mills...how I loved her! I believe the movie Kerry the searching for may be The Moonspinners. My favorite was The Truth About Spring, with her father and James McArthur. She played a 16 year old tomboy, who had grown up at sea, living on a houseboat, with only her father and old treasure map, hunted by a motley group of old pirates. Great fun, beautiful scenery.

    Excellent post, tremendously enjoyable!

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  55. Right on Pamela - you hit the nail squarely on the head with this magnificent post on aging beauty. And isn't that what it's supposed to be 'aging beauty', staying lovely from the inside out no matter what ones chronological age is. I cannot imagine electing to have one's face rearranged by a knife! To desire such frightening techniques just because you have reached the age when the next stage of natural beauty arrives, complete with its wrinkles, bumps and sags, and then end up looking like a completely different, an often non-smiling, stretched version of the former self, seems preposterous. I always think about the sadness of those injured in accidents, burned, or disfigured by cancer, those who HAVE to have facial surgery. They need the skills of the surgeon, whereas we just need to grow old gracefully..........and that's what I'm now doing.

    Having survived cancer, and now with an iffy thyroid condition which definitely does not make for a sleek neck, all I want is to be able to enjoy each day, one at a time, and remain thankful that my life continues, even with age spots!

    Just hand me my red lipstick and 'junk gypsy' necklace, I'm off to treasure hunt, wearing a smile, wrinkles and all, ha! ha!!

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  56. I totally and completely agree with you. I cannot bear seeing these weird pillowy distorted faces where a beautiful bone structure used to be. And Anne Lamott's words are so true! So often it hurts us to see signs of our own aging, but what we "radiate" or send out is more a message of our particular energy.

    Vanessa Redgrave is a wonderful example of someone who has aged gracefully and beautifully.

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  57. beautifully put. too much fixation with turning back the clock will lead to missing the wonderful process of life.

    ps. check out my new blog ;)
    http://diyainherstilettos.blogspot.com/

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  58. it is really, so beautiful over here. and the Diane Lane quote~ perfection.
    xo

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  59. My husband confessed she was his first love. I was fascinated by her, and later all the Gidgets. thanks for the memories.

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  60. Someone once told me that if I wore some makeup, I would not look half bad. For the first time in my life the right answer sprang from my lips "if I'm good enough for God, I'm good enough for you!" Do we really think the best plastic surgeons can improve on God"s work? Crania-facial surgery is for those unfortunates with gross malformations.
    Beauty cannot be manufactures from the outside, it shines from within.

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  61. This is a wonderful post and I wish I'd written it myself! :)

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  62. Oh, what wonderful memories I have making the 'movie star' scrapbooks, sitting in the floor with clippings spread out around us. Also, I remember well your beautiful wedding on that cold winter night and you were more beautiful than Vanessa Redgrave ever was! It was such fun being best friends with you in those wonder years! Love you, Melody

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  63. Oh my, this brings back so many memories of afternoons spent with the makings of our scrap books spread around us on the floor, heads bent over, your blonde and my brunette, intently working together - didn't we do Julie Andrews as well??? I call them 'golden days', memories that I will always cherish!

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  64. Precision Dispense, adds the right amount of soap needed for each load saving you lots of money. just like what my close friends did. This is a quick and easy way to preserve some of the herbs from your garden. Read about both before you shop.

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  65. I'm VERY late to the party but from time to time Hayley Mills still pops up on British TV. There was a series "Wild at Heart" about a British vet and his family in Africa from about 7 years ago where she played a grandma. When talking to her young (TV) grand-daughter her character says "Do I look like a granny?" and the child who is too young to have learned to tell little white lies replies, "Well, yes". Hayley does look good for her age though - she's a few years older than me but not much. Patricia O

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I love to read your comments! Each and every one! Though I'm always reading your comments, I may not respond in the comment section. If you want to write me directly, you may do so at pamela@pamelaterry.net. Thank you for reading!