Monday, October 25, 2010

Mad


Mad 

I tend to work by an open window in as many seasons as I possibly can, closing it, reluctantly, only in the coldest days of winter, or the stickiest ones of summer.  Having had quite a few of those sticky days this particular summer, sitting by my wide open window has been absolute bliss since Autumn unpacked her cool and colourful cases outside.  The October breezes, bracing in the early morning - gently warm in the afternoon - blow in continuously, playing tunes on the windchimes and ruffling Edward’s fur as he dozes on his tartan bed in the corner.  The cerulean blue glass birdfeeder is open for business all day, with feathered friends of every avian persuasion stopping in to say hello.  It has been delightful.  
Until last week.
   When HE arrived.
A grey squirrel.
Small, ordinary, and pure evil.
Gluing his paws to a tree limb just after sunrise, he has remained planted right outside my open window every day for over a week, determined, it seems, to drive me completely, utterly, irreversibly, mad.  No bigger than a bedroom slipper, but with a sound that explodes from his furry grey body eerily reminiscent of the high pitched shriek of Hitchcock’s violins in the infamous shower scene of Psycho.  And he emits this nerve-rattling sound every ten seconds of every minute of every hour of the blessed day.  

Now squirrels are not a rarity in my little corner of the world.  In fact, our back garden is fairly wiggly with them, especially this time of the year.  Edward has attempted to persuade me of their demonic proclivity for the longest time of course, but I suppose, being raised as I was with such charming characters as Squirrel Nutkin and Rocky, I have been slow to convince.
But this has been too much.  This Poeian squirrel of Halloween week, with his tell-tale heart of a shriek that slices through my innocent window like a knife blade, over and over and over, hacking away every coherent thought, carving my placid mood into little angry shards that spill over my desk and chew up every creative impulse until I throw down my pencils and head for the door.... this squirrel, this nemesis, this monster... must go.

And over in the corner, snuggled deep into a fat red tartan bed, Edward smiles a wry smile.  
“I told her so”.

29 comments:

  1. That's awesome! I love Edward's "I told her so!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Me too! I love Edward's comment. He is so beautiful and so right.
    (Moments in Time)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh so sorry, Pamela, and I imagine that you're one who hears "everything" anyway!
    Someone must be able to peel him off that tree and bring him back to the woods, far..FAR away from your house!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have got some pesky squirrels as well. they chew on my shutters and pergolas. Now that my little Violet has passed, they are really trying to take over. I'm with Natasha: "Get Rid of Moose and Squirrell!"
    Best,
    Liz

    ReplyDelete
  5. I know how you feel, Pamela but, I can't help but like them !! They manage to get to all of our bird feeders which costs us a fortune to keep filling up so that the birds get a look in !!.....but, they are still pretty cute !!
    I was just wondering how you might be sorting this problem out. Perhaps Edward has some ideas. XXXX

    ReplyDelete
  6. A well told domestic tale!

    Yay, Edward



    Aloha from Hawaii

    Comfort Spiral

    ><}}(°>

    ReplyDelete
  7. May I ask, What kind of dog is Edward?

    ReplyDelete
  8. I do so understand your frustration as I have a window just like yours and a chipmunk(s) does the same thing; sits on a branch or the window ledge and chatters until I could scream. It is too cold here now and he and his tribe are hidden somewhere deep underground. I bet Edward could find him.

    ReplyDelete
  9. so this is where our squirrel has gone.. haven't seen the fellow in ages...

    ReplyDelete
  10. I've never heard a screeching squirrel, but I can only imagine how irritating that sound would be.
    I could tell Edward was a wise soul from my first visit here.


    xo
    Brooke

    ReplyDelete
  11. Edward will sort it out. He's just waiting for the right moment to leap into action. Maybe tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
  12. He probably thinks YOU are invading his space, hence the screeching! But it is a horrible noise, I would just let Edward out to do his best/worst...they are no relation to sweet Squirrel Nutkin, and if they hadn't invaded the UK so horribly successfully, we might not be down to our last few rare colonies of reds.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Dear Pamela, Grey Squirrels are indeed incredibly destructive and persistent. J, my gardener/ handyman wages war on them with avengeance but I cannot help but be amused by their antics. They are so wily, anticipating every move and managing to avoid capture. Clearly Edward has given up all hope of being able to dispense with them!

    ReplyDelete
  14. well Edward is wise and knows everything! Squirrels are cute and sweet but that song of theirs must be really annoying when its constantly at your ears.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I've never heard them make this noise, though by the sound of it I should be thankful. I wonder what he is saying?
    "Watch it this is my space!"
    I understand exactly what you mean about it penetrating your equilibrium. We have a dog we have never seen, only heard, living somewhere nearby and the owners obviously leave him in the yard, where he barks and barks. Just one woof,a single woof then another and so on, he's obviously asking and asking to be let back inside. I feel so sorry for him, especially when it's raining, but my word 'it does my head in!'as we say in Manchester!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Pamela, that is really cute though not for you!! I can just hear Edward!

    xoxo
    Karena
    Art by Karena

    ReplyDelete
  17. Pamela, you are a word artist! When I read your words I can see, hear, feel (sensory and emotion), taste...

    ReplyDelete
  18. We have a ton of squirrels in our little community. All you have to do utter the word "squirrel" and everyone rolls their eyes. The squirrels destroy everything in our backyards. My husband and I refer to them as "tree rats"

    I love your dog!!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Share your feelings completely since those shrieks are so annoying and occasionally I am so happy to send Oscar (the dog) outside to chase them away for a few minutes.
    Oh, how to send him packing???

    ReplyDelete
  20. Oh No!!! I was thinking how cute.. but shrieking?? I will never think of squirrels the same now.. We don't have them here in Australia so.. they always seem 'cute' to us.. haha.. I remember seeing one for the first time at the Grand Canyon.. and I couldn't get over how small they were.. that was a surprise.. they are much bigger in cartoons!! hahaha

    Well I shouldn't laugh.. your squirrels remind me of my pesky neighbours.. both require a permanent solution..

    Have a lovely week Pamela.. xxx Julie

    ReplyDelete
  21. Edward knows best!

    We have a minute house wren that makes the most awful racket right at sunrise. How can something so small make such a loud shrill?! Times like these I wish I was a cat person....:^/

    I jest, I love the birds and fill my feeders every morning. This little guy just needs to find a mate already. Isn't there an internet service for that? Until then, bring on the ear muffs.

    ReplyDelete
  22. ah yes - grey squirrels = somebody must love them I suppose but it is very hard to do so.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Oh dear...I can understand how terribly irritating this must be for you Pamela. When I'm taking pictures or decorating a huge bomb could go off and I would be none the wiser...but when I'm writing I need complete quiet or nothing comes out.

    Perhaps you could remind this cheeky fellow what ultimately happened to Squirrel Nutkin when he continued to pester Old Brown the owl! I do hope he finds someone else to shriek at soon!

    H.H.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hi Pamela,
    Thank you so much for entering the $500 giveaway that Beso.com is sponsoring on A Cup of Jo.

    We also invite you to enter our $250 Shopping Splurge

    Good luck!
    Beso.com

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hi Pamela, your story reminded of the time we rented a gorgeous island cottage in the Muskokas. Everything was perfect until... the rather large and threatening woodpecker appeared on the tree just outside our window. It looked just like Woody wood pecker (which I always considered friendly) but somehow this one felt creepy and irritating.He kept rattatting and staring at us. Gave me goosebumps. And quite frankly I'm always creeped out by squirrels.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Awwwe, but they're so cute! A few pesky ones have been stealing my mothers *lemons* off of her little lemon tree...imagine that, and her rose buds...but I still think they're cute. I do wish they had a sweeter voice though, between them and the Blue Jays around here you'd think cars were screeching down the street all day...I'm truly sorry you've had your special spot infiltrated by that kind fo noise. Maybe a fake owl or something will scare them off...ask Edward what he thinks of that idea.
    xo J~

    ReplyDelete
  27. I peacefully coexist with gray squirrels - but it's devastating when you find a beautiful container plant lying on the ground because a squirrel wanted to use the pot to bury a nut.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Sooo funny! Sorry I can't help laughing. We have Hadedas here in large flocks that perch on the roof and wait for one to be in a quiet meditative state before wailing like a host of hysterical babies, so loud that one's ears pop. We are often woken out of dead sleep before sunrise with this cacophony. A love/hate relationship!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Wicked squirrels! We have some red squirrels this week who sound like close relations, Pamela, and are creating havoc in our yard. How dreadful! Loved the story, though!
    :-D

    ReplyDelete

I love to read your comments! Each and every one! Though I'm always reading your comments, I may not respond in the comment section. If you want to write me directly, you may do so at pamela@pamelaterry.net. Thank you for reading!